Today is a good day. And it’ is because I choose so. Despite the bad moments that inevitably occurred, I pick to remember the pleasant moments instead which can help every day be a good one.
Some time ago one of my closest friends, who I happen to know for not much enough, said something that shook me. This friend of mine suddenly appeared in my life a few months ago, and I am so glad she did. She is a person that you want to talk more not only because she is a good listener but also because what she tells you is very interesting and educative. A teacher in heart, that’s what I could say with an intention to give a compliment.
So she asked me how I was, and I talked to her a bit about the situation at work, that I am unhappy. And after sharing a few details, she asked me a question that made me realise the most important of all. She inquired whether or not I see meaning in what I do.
At the same time, I was also chatting with my mum who I have a deep connection with. We were chatting about another thing at that specific moment when my friend asked me that question. We were talking about forgiveness, and at that moment it just clicked in my mind how to deal with anxiety by making a decision. You got to consciously pick which one of the actions between the two options is the one that would give you more significance to your life.
If you are thinking to forgive or not, make a decision based on what you want more – to have that person in your life or let go. And once you know what you want more, then simply do the action whether its to forgive or not and move on. Let it go.
If an issue is regarding your career, it becomes quite complicated. Staying in a position that you already know what is expected of you can become comfortable. We all need money, and a stable income is essential to have. Many of us, I included, often choose to hold that stability denying all the other doubts as less significant ones. The financial situation is by many means crucial, no money, no food, as simple as that.
But money comes and goes, and there will always be an option out there even if it seems scary to make drastic changes. Something will come up, even if that’s only a hope, a dream, a whim. Something will come up to those who look for options, that’s the main thing required when one is looking for new things to happen.
Thus, it comes back to what my friend asked me: do you see meaning in what you do? And even if it was about the job and I know the answer to this particular question, I think that always I should ask myself whether or not what I do makes at least one person feel better? I should not only doubt but also answer myself is there a point in continuing or not? Is that what I want for myself or not? Yes or no. Make your mind and let it all go on its course and speed. If after answering it, the question keeps coming up again and again, perhaps, the decision you made before wasn’t right.
It is imperative to let go. Otherwise, the chatter in your head will drain all your energy out of you. Those things of what I could have said, what I should have done – none of this is real because the situation is gone. Nothing can change the past, and if those thoughts do not hold any significance in your possible future, those thoughts need to pass away together with the situation that is not in place anymore.
Forgive yourself for mistakes you did, but it is also essential to give yourself credit for the things that you did right. Every man needs a code, says one of the main characters in The Wire. Many things are just part of the game, part of life and society that we all live in. Every man needs a code, means having specific values that you stick with. It is crucial to always remain true to yourself because you are the one that you need to live with.
Living by code makes the decision making whether it was a good day or not more natural. Now, many of us tend to believe that we live by absolute values, especially the ones that are popular to hold a high significance. The ones like: treat others the way you want to be addressed. Honesty is the most important thing. Help the ones in need. Respect everyone and give a shit. Unfortunately, not that many try applying these codes in the way they behave, it’s always easier to be a parrot and repeat them loudly as if saying this often will make it real. Well, that is not abracadabra, unfortunately. Efforts are required from you to make those values to be accredited and matching with your actions.
If I want people to be honest with me, how honest am I with others? If I want everyone to be nice to me, does my behaviour makes it likely to happen? Every action has a reaction, and you always get what you deserve. Sometimes it’s not easy to accept that because we might not like the outcome but then let’s try being honest with ourselves as the main priority. Do I care about what others need before asking them to do what I need? Do I hear what others tell me before hoping that I’ll be heard? Yes or no. But if the problem repeats itself, maybe you are just not doing the right thing, perhaps you are not living by the code you declare you have chosen. Possibly your answer ‘yes’ to all those questions is affected by bias and lack of seeing yourself through other peoples eyes.
Allow yourself to be in charge of decision making, but be honest with yourself if that’s a quality you expect from others. Because only when you start living by the code, regrets of what you could have done differently will not bother you that much. Believe me, if you treat others the way you want to be treated is the best value of all because that will bring you sweet moments to cherish not only today but for all the days to come. And then when asking whether it was a good day today, allow yourself to answer yes by consciously choosing what you want to remember.