Every time I hear this saying that Some days are better than others, I think of a one day that happens in a sequence of actually alright days. But if a bad day happens to you, you would use this sentence to express your feelings as well. However, today I realised that this sentence is in the plural. It says days, which means that it could be used to describe an actual period as well. Some days are better than others, thus, maybe my period of being down is just that. It will pass and perhaps these days will, in perspective, be better than others. Or worse than others.
What I mean by that is that we all have a scale based on our previous experiences in life, a lifestyle, childhood upbringing, education, travelling, relationships, friendships… Everything that makes us ‘us’. We have a scale to evaluate everything and anything that happens to us. Maybe my worst is somebodies dream? Maybe my best is somebody’s worst? What is important to understand that life can be so versatile and different that we need to forget about the extremes. We do like to see everything in extremes because we cannot have an objective perspective on anything that happens to us – again, based on our previous life experience.
There is one good thing to help yourself with when it comes to healing from this modern life illness called depression, which is real, and so real sometimes that no one but those who experienced it in their way would understand. That thing is to realise that extremes are extremes and in a global extent of relativity you most likely have an average life experience. What does that mean?
An interesting thing about life is that all of us we all live in different worlds while all being a part of one big picture. Isn’t that right? All of us are so similar but at the same time so different and just because we all have an entirely distinct perspective due to how our lives evolved in front of us. Every single day shapes us; every interaction might bring and might bring not thoughts in our heads that lead us to grow into somebody that we call an individual.
To understand others is such an alluring thing that sometimes we get caught up on it and forget that the only person that we spend most of our time with is ourselves. Sometimes we forget about self so much that we might have trouble even to answer simple questions, such as, who are you. We get alienated from ourselves just because we try too much to be a part of a picture in the lives of others that we forget about our own.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons why to me the saying some days are better than others turned into a plural. Because I don’t know and I do not spend time trying to get to know myself to the point that now my days are blurry, gloomy and seem like not going anywhere. At least in the sense of excitement. Everything goes in a particular direction, and I am not that depressed anymore to be cynical and pessimistic about my life – I know everything will turn out fine somehow, things will be alright, it’s just a stage, a moment, a day that is a better or worse one than others. The problem is that on a big scale I do not get excited about anything. I want that excitement, which is a joy to things that happen to me. I want to start feeling a thrill again about anything that is coming up. People become happy around Christmas, birthdays, planned holidays or weekends, a party, etc. I remember when I was a kid, the only reason I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep was that the next day was going to be somehow unique and my excitement wouldn’t let me sleep. Now this doesn’t happen, everything comes and passes, and I don’t get to feel the taste of it.
I don’t know when my worse days than others started. I cannot figure out a certain changing point. What I know is that the days now are getting better. I know a changing moment of that, not exactly but who needs the precision here. And that is because I choose to see it that way. It’s me who chooses to decide whether the experience I am having is actually good or not and then call them better than others.
Now about the excitement of what the next day might bring. Losing it has something to do with ageing. I believe that joy of life is something that we are born with, a gift of innocence you wanna see it that way. And we lose it on the way by not being attentive to completing our whims. We tend to lose it because while getting older we get more and more rules to follow. But everyone chooses what to think. And the good thig is that this joy is rectifiable. If only we are willing enough to call by choice each day a better one.